im at my neighbors house they just got the internet.  i dont have the internet at my house anymore thats why i dont update ever  plus life has been really hard since my brothers death christmas was really hard.  i think im probably going close this site down.

Paige i'm really sorry I have not called/emailed you or updated, it's just hard to talk about it. 

I know I haven't updated lately, and like I said it would be a time before I did again because things are rough.  We had the family funeral which wasn't fun but then again, it was a funeral.  Funerals aren't supposed to be fun are they?  So after everyone packed out and went back home things got even worse in ways but better too.  I guess it was just easy having everyone here with us.  It's hard not having Jacob around, and Jai she stays away the whole time.  She says that being in the house is too hard for her.  She actually wants to go to public school just to be out of the house, and my parents are being dicks and won't let her.  I really think that they are being too unfair with this whole situation.  They say that if they have to suffer through the loss she does too but she is and even if she went to public school she would suffer.  I miss having him around to play pool with, ride with, play basketball, swim, everything we used to do, I do alone now.  I miss him a lot.

I love you Jacob always with you and your always with me.

I really don't have the energy and spirit to write in here, but I thought i'd update, because I don't have time to call Paige and tell her.  My brother Jacob recently passed away.  I guess he's better off now, but this is something I can't handle.  Paige, i'll try to call you as soon as I can, but I don't know when that will be.  We are not even having a funeral for him.  The only people able to come are family, and personally I just don't think thats fair to Jakes friends, and i'm sure thats not what he wanted.

I know Jake would want everyone to be able to see him, he wouldn't want people to mourn over the loss of him, and he would love Paige to see him one last time. 

I can't handle this, i'll update whenever I can or whenever I feel like it.

Update on Jake whos actually not getting any better at all, and is getting worse.  Nothing changed in two days, and then all of a sudden he just got a lot worse.  He still is in a coma and everything, which is hard but, a phone call I made the other day to Paige helped a lot.  We've been talking to Jake a lot telling him how much we love him, and telling him about our days.  Anymore the only thing I do is stay at the hospital, sounds boring right?  Well I love it, i'd rather be nowhere else, but by my brothers side.  Jai called Paige the other day, and had her talk to him, hoping that him hearing her voice would help him?  I think what he needs though is to see her but that may be my imagination.  I don't really know and theres not much else to say.  Doctors still are not sure if he will make it or not, but i'm sure Jake will pull through.  Thank you for the prayers everyone, keep him in there.

Jacob, seeing you like this kills me, please please get well soon.

This xanga thing i'm new at.  In fact, an old friend of mine has an xanga site that I often go to, so I decided now is a perfect time to make an xanga.

Lately things around home have been hard, and i've been at the hospital a lot.  My brother Jake is in a coma in the hospital, and anyone who knows me knows i'm very close with him and my sister Jainea.  Well Jake was in an accident and the doctors say he may not make it.  I'm really scared of losing him because he doesn't deserve this at all.  Anyone who knows Jake knows he's a nice, talented person and I don't know of anybody he's ever hurt.  Even the one girl he loves, he doesn't care that things didn't work out between them, he still loves her, and treats her well and if she ever needs anything she knows he's there for her.  Thats just the type of person Jake is.  Somebody could hate him, and he'd still try to be friends with him.  I don't know why this happend to him, and he deffanitely doesn't deserve it at all.  All I want is for him to come out of his coma and be fine, I don't want to have to lose my brother, my bestfriend.  I just could not handle life without Jacob.

Please keep Jacob in your prayers.

I love you, Jacob.